Nothing like driving past a dead body in the next lane to slap you back to reality in the morning.

Unidentified man jumped from the tallest span of the interchange at US-75 and US-635 this morning. And apparently the police need bigger blankets in their squad cars.

I want to feel sorry for the guy, and I guess maybe I do just a little, but at the same time, beyond the fact that he chose to kill himself period, the fact that he decided to do it in such a public, dramatic fashion - and by doing so put others at mortal risk - tempers my sympathy quite a bit.

As I passed the scene, I was aware of an odd sensation, though. One that I had not experienced before. It was the stark juxtaposition of this lump of protein laying in the middle of the highway that used to be a person - one who came to the conclusion that life was not worth living - against the now-tangible and brightly burning sense of life and potential and future that was emanating from the little girl strapped into the child seat behind me. I swear, it felt so real I wouldn't have been surprised if it had started casting shadows in the car...

I remember thinking "Lord, please don't let her see that..." I didn't want her to have to wrestle with (or ask me) the questions that come from the sight of a corpse. Questions that seem particularly empowered when death invades the normal, day-to-day routine of our life to slap us in the face with our own mortality. Not yet. Thankfully, that prayer seems to have been answered in the affirmative.

Now I get to carry the image of the body-almost-under-the-blanket for a while. That which has been seen cannot be unseen. And if you know me, you know I'll be running all of the implications of the scene through my head for some time. Lovely. Welcome to the week!

Last night was my little girl's first Halloween to go trick-or-treating. Met up with some friends and went as a group and a good time was had by all, but I gotta tell you - Halloween is certainly not what it was when I was a kid. I'm not going to waste a lot of time here bemoaning the changing times or waxing nostalgic. Times change, that's the way it is, that's the way it has always been - deal with it. And generally speaking, nostalgia gets pretty annoying pretty quickly for everybody except the person being nostalgic. No, I just kinda want to ask - to no one in particular except the people to whom the question will apply:

WHAT THE HECK??

First off, if you are in High School, and are not there because you are a freakishly intelligent ten-year-old that jumped ahead in school somewhere, then you are too old to be Trick-or-Treating. And I'm definitely being generous, here. You're easily old enough to get a job and go buy your own dang candy. If you must go out anyway, don't push the little kids out of the way to get to the candy at the door. If there's a bowl of self-serve candy just sitting on the porch, just take one or two - pieces, not handfuls. People already suspect you're an ass - doing things like that will just prove it. You also run the risk of causing a tired, grouchy parental unit to go ballistic and stuff you into your own candy sack. Fair warning...

Second - Hello - Parents? Little kids should not be dressed as pimps, hos, or anything gory and dead. I'll make a partial exception on that last one for the time-honored skeleton or ghost costume, but if there's splattered blood involved, you're over the line. A) Pimps and hos - come on - do I really have to explain this one?? Sex is going to be a difficult enough subject in the not-too-distant future of your child's life - don't throw mud in the water now. Let them swim around as long as possible in what little innocence this world allows them to keep, 'cause once it's gone, it's gone, and it never comes back. B) Gory dead things. Want to play around with that stuff and laugh about it when they're older? Make fun of death and show how tough you are in the face of what would otherwise be shocking? Fine. But on a child? Come on. Some would argue that I'm being too serious here, but look at it this way. Ask any front-line vet, first-responder, police officer or paramedic just how funny death is, to say nothing of bloody messes. Once you've seen the real thing, it ain't funny - ever again. Everybody will have to deal with death sooner or later - let the children just be alive for now. 'Nuff said...

I would like, however, to reinstall my sense of humor now, because there is a wide swath of the American culture that seems to have completely lost theirs when it comes to Halloween...

I remember going to an all-out Halloween party in the basement of our church back when I was about 5 or 6 - dressed as a little red devil, to boot. And I wasn't the only one - other scary costumes abounded. These days most churches wouldn't dream of doing a Halloween ANYTHING. They have to be called something like, oh, I don't know, harvest festivals, or something like that (inside joke - sorry!), as though by renaming it, everybody forgets that it wouldn't be taking place at the end of October were it not for the fact that Halloween does too. The 'good Christian watchdogs' snoot down their noses at all things Halloween just as fast as they do about other topics that are far more controversial and that exert far more influence on our culture and country than one silly, spooky night. They cite reasons like the origins of the event, or what other people do to 'celebrate' the day and how Christians should be setting a better example.

The thing that befuddles me is that, in their self-righteous clucking they seem to conveniently ignore the discussions on the origins of Easter and Christmas as well. While both holidays are - in perception, at the very least - "Christian holidays," neither are, in any direct sense, scriptural. Some have argued that their respective dates were chosen to "Christianize" pagan festivals (although that theory is far from being 'the gospel truth' - so to speak). Whatever the origins, when my family comes together for Christmas and decorates, exchanges gifts, whatever - we do so to celebrate family and the good news of the birth of a Savior. A Savior who told us to live life abundantly, by the way - not in fear. By exchanging gifts, we are not celebrating the crass commercialism so prevalent in our Capitalistic culture, nor are we attempting to draw attention away from Jesus and toward Santa by reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas." Similarly, we may decorate and hide eggs or share the occasional chocolate bunny on Easter, but we are not performing some ancient fertility rite by doing so. The day is about remembering what Christ accomplished and the promise that comes with it - the rest is just having a little fun along the way. To round out the thought, as we were going from door to door last night, I promise you the topic of Samhain never came up, and at no point in the evening did I feel anything resembling an urge to sacrifice something to appease the spirits - whatever that means.


I suppose my point is this: Not everybody celebrates Halloween, or Christmas, or Easter - or whatever - in a way that I would, nor even necessarily in a way that I would find non-offensive. That fact is never going to change. But their method of celebration does not define mine. Have the fall festival - by all means - just don't pretend Halloween isn't there, or is somehow inherently evil. Other people may celebrate it in evil or misguided ways, but responding by simply disappearing or complaining won't change that, and if all we can focus on is those evil, misguided people and practices, we will actually wind up giving them more power - not taking it away. Besides, quite frankly, I don't give a rip about the origins of the celebrations. It's a little bit of interesting ancient history, and that's it.

And just for good measure, not every celebration has to be about some event in Jesus' life. Were that the case, throw out birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, etc... Want to set a good example? Fine. But "taking your ball and going home" and spitting at the people that still want to play is NOT setting a good example.

Hope everybody had a fun, safe, and happy Halloween. Looking forward to Turkey Day - uh - I Mean, Thanksgiving...

Mornings are weird times for me. I don't mean mornings as in nine to noon. No, I'm referring more to the moments between dragging myself out of bed and getting out of the shower. I guess my brain is trying to right itself after being horizontal for the last few hours, or it's trying to sort dreams from actual memories, or maybe it's just freaking out a bit because today just became yesterday and tomorrow just became today - I don't know. But I think a lot in those moments, and honestly, it's not always pleasant (no one will ever accuse me of being a morning person, trust me).

Sometimes, like today, it can be a little intriguing, though. When it comes to god and the Bible, I am no fundamentalist. But neither am I liberal - some of the things those guys come up with just stretch the limits of rational thought too far for me. Still, I have often considered - and stated my belief that - God is not contained by the Bible. The Bible tells us things about Him, but does not, and can not, define Him. God is bigger than the Bible, and if you extrapolate that concept out further, accepting God as a pre-existent, eternal being, God is bigger than time.

The thing is, the Bible describes God through the eyes of - and using the terms and references of - civilizations that have been dust for centuries. God, in His nature, is unchanging, but the world we live in is not, and just as God is bigger than our perceptions and terms of recognition, so, also would He have been bigger than the perceptions and terms of those archaic civilizations. My point is that God is just as comfortable in the 'now' as He was in the 'then.' He's not surprised by it, He doesn't struggle with any generation gap, He's just as present now as He was then, and this period in history is just as valid to Him as that one was.

Now, at this point, there are plenty of modern-day "theologians" that would use that train of thought to reinterpret scripture in some pretty irresponsible ways, but that's not where I'm going. I was just thinking all this through in the shower and wondered what the Ten Commandments would sound like had they been given today, in this culture. For instance:

1. "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me."
That could be rephrased as "There is only one God, and I'm it. If you put your faith in anything other than me, it will ultimately fail you every time, so just don't."

2. "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image."
I hear this one along the lines of "If you make an idol out of stone or clay, then all you're really putting your hope in is rocks and dirt. See commandment one..."

3. "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."
"I am God, and you really need to keep that in perspective. My name is not just another word to be tossed about, nor should you claim affiliation with Me lightly - you may fool them, but you won't fool me. Show some respect."

4. "Remember the Sabbath Day and keep it Holy."
Take a day to slow down and purposefully remember who I am and what I've done, and all that that means and implies. One day out of seven is not asking a lot.

5. "Honor thy father and mother."
Your parents have experienced more life than you, so listen to them. They invested a good chunk of their lives into yours, so be thankful. You represent them in the world, so don't do things that would shame them. It's pretty straight forward...

6. "Thou shalt not kill."
Don't murder anyone. I gave them life, and you do not have the right to steal what I have given.

7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
Don't do anything to destroy the trust and respect in the marriage relationship. I made people for relationship, and the marriage relationship is a particularly special one in my eyes. It is an exchange of trust between two souls, and further, it represents my commitment to those who come to me. Treat it accordingly.

8. "Thou shalt not steal."
If it's not yours, leave it alone. Either learn to be content with what you have, or to work for what you want. Either option will be of far more value in the long run than anything you can just walk up and take.

9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."
Don't lie. It cheapens life, and it cheapens you. I am the author of all truth, and if a lie falls from your lips, it did not come from me. Consider the options.

10. "Thou shalt not covet."
Don't waste time and energy brooding about what others have and what you don't. That's focusing on things, not people. Life isn't about what you own, anyway - you'll have to leave it all behind eventually...

So, I didn't actually intend to do all ten, but there they are. Might be fun to re-imagine other scriptural concepts in modern terms, like Satan tempting Christ in the wilderness. What would he tempt Jesus with? Fame? Gourmet food? Political power? Hmmm...

Honestly, although it's a bit of a tangent, I've also often wondered about why God chose to send Christ at that particular period in time, into that particular area. I've heard some intriguing discussions on that thought. Wonder what it would have looked like if God had waited until now? Maybe I'll save that for another blog...

To blog or not to blog...

Hm. Just read a blog post by a Christian artist and the expansive list of responses that followed. I have to admit I admire his courage in putting his thoughts out there as regularly as he obviously does, a well as with his commitment to stay engaged with those who respond. Of course, the next thought to jackrabbit through my mind was "Why don't I do something like that?"

In spite of the fact that I've been told by numerous people - people that I trust and admire, even - that I have good thoughts and should find a way to share them, the answer to the question above goes off like fireworks - sparks flying in all directions, each with plenty of material to easily carry a self-absorbed blog post all by itself. Too busy. Tired. Apathetic. Unsure. Scared. Lazy. You name it. I know enough about my own nature to know that I tend to invalidate myself too quickly, and the fear of coming across as arrogant is strong enough to incline me to keep my thoughts to myself many times (the fear of coming across as wrong picks up a lot of what's left over - that and a deep dislike of being ridiculed). In all honesty, if it weren't for the fact that I believe that the number of people that will actually find this post can be counted on one hand, I likely wouldn't be typing it.

Yet here I am...

Does that mean that I secretly think I have some wisdom of worth to offer, or perhaps that I just want to believe that I do? Am I self-centered for typing out my thoughts, thereby tacitly attaching worth to them when I have no discernible objective reason to do so? If I were conveying something funny, I would be able to attach worth to that, because I believe in the value of sharing laughter, and that's a value that I perceive as existing outside of myself. But describing my own struggles, or my own beliefs, or observations - those are more personal. Those are much more about me, rather than just being about something outside of me that's funny. If I really started opening up about some of the things I think, some of the things that tick me off - I don't know. Let me put it the way it occurred to me earlier today: "It seems to me that there are more and more assholes in the world these days, and sometimes I'm afraid I'm one of them." But I do have beliefs that I'm passionate about - or at least beliefs that I hold passionately to - even some of the ones I have doubts about, oddly.

My point? Sometimes I cuss, though I believe I shouldn't. I claim faith, though I often doubt. What kind of a witness is that? Sometimes I can be bitingly sarcastic, even derogatory, in my thoughts. Not good things to have running through my head. I can be angry, resentful, prideful, lustful, selfish, petty... In a nutshell, I firmly believe I should be a better person than I am, and as a result I am reluctant to share the front row seat to my failings with the rest of the world, because I think I'd like to have a few friends left at the end of the day, thanks, and I'm sure none of them struggle with those things, right?

So if you happen to be one of the four or five people that accidentally find this post, and then happen to be one of the maybe two that are bored enough to have read this far, sound off if you have any thoughts on the topic. I'd be interested in hearing them...